fucking

hate

this

so

much.

i hate being so far away.

i hate being out of the loop.

i hate not being told whats going on (just because its not important to you).

i hate isolation.

i hate having to say up so late because its the only time we get to talk.

i hate waking up tired because i cant sleep.

i hate waking up crying.

i hate being so fucking dumb i hurt myself doing simple things.

i hate not being able to move.

i hate that even after it takes me 5 minutes to stand up to go to the bathroom, my brother steals my seat, and then wont get up when i get back, making me painfully stand there waiting for him to move.

i hate back pain.

i hate being so frustrated.

i hate feeling lonely.

i hate that, even when i'm in severe pain, and being left alone by myself for 5 hours, my parents still went out to dinner without me. I DONT CARE THAT I SAID I WOULD BE FINE! IM YOUR CHILD! WHAT IF THE HOUSE CAUGHT ON FIRE? WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED? I CANT EVEN MOVE OFF THE COUCH YOU ASSHOLES!

i hate calling in sick for work.

i hate hearing about all the fun your having without me.

i hate that i no longer have anyone to go see hancock with (ya know, because god forbid i have any friends up here) (i dont. thats sad.)

i hate having old words ring in my ears (even if you dont even remember you said them, i will never let them go)

i hate feeling so lonely.

i hate fighting with my parents over religion.

i hate it when my dad calls me lazy (i'm not lazy, i just dont have the strength to face the day).


i hate this.